The Day that Nothing Really Changed and the Day that Everything Did
A lot of close friends reached out to me yesterday to ask me how I was doing. At first I thought it was a little odd. Most times my friends have unreal timing, as if they have a sixth sense and just ask me how I’m doing when I’m really in the pits. But yesterday was a perfectly lovely day. I alternated between napping and reading “All is Grace” by Brennan Manning, decorated my new bedroom and listened to Penny and Sparrow on my new record player. After weeks of being in between places it was a perfect day of getting settled, wearing pajamas and feeling at home.
Then it would hit me, what they were driving at with the question — it was Inauguration Day. I intentionally did not watch the news or go on Facebook yesterday. I felt there was nothing in the ceremony or news coverage that I didn’t already know and felt no need to silently observe a statement of the obvious — that we elected a sexist racist kleptocratic fascist in an era many are calling post-truth. I just didn’t think it would at all enhance my day off.
It wasn’t just my avoidance of the news that day that made me a bit surprised that my friends would reach out — and I’ll add that I’m very touched that they did. It was however, the idea that this event held enough sway to derail my day or my emotional state as a whole. To be fair, November 9th did that and will go in the books as inducing my first real hangover, but truth be told, I am simply not knocked over by this.
I say this with hesitation. I don’t want to understate how serious this election is and how it has indeed affected me on an emotional level. But Inauguration Day itself didn’t change anything. The same racists, sexist and apathetics are doing (or not doing) what they’ve always done and the only difference between Thursday and Friday is that Friday marked the beginning of an unveiling of just how insidious people can be, but they’ve always been in this country and they’ve always lived right next door.
Nothing changed yesterday; we just got to see it headfirst and straight on. Today however, did mark a change, or rather pointed to one.
Today I had the honor of marching. I took steps forward with men and women who were willing to voice up and affirm that women are fully people, that no person is illegal, that everyone has a right to love, that science is real and that, for Christ’s sake, Black Lives freaking do Matter. Today I got to take up the mantle of equality alongside like-minds and like-hearts and be affirmed that I am not alone in caring for justice.
I stopped being distraught a long time ago. I’m still sad, still disappointed with my country still partially wishing this is just some strange dream that we’ll all get to wake up from. But I’m also ready. I’m poised for action and prepared to fight for justice and speak out for the oppressed. Today was a beginning. Today I watched people vow to spend the next four years fighting for justice — more than that, today, I with many committed to fighting with the rest of our lives.
Nothing really changed on Inauguration Day, but from here on out, in so much as it has to do with me, things are going to.
